Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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