And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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