and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
