this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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