i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
