Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize