I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
