so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
