Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
