she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
