I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
