Do you still have your period?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
