Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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