Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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