i would punch a child for taco bell
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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