I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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