You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
