I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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