GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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