whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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