im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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