Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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