kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize