when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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