But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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