Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
