party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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