Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
