There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
