My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
