man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize