How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
