I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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