I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
