i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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