I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
