Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
zippers are such a cool invention
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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