Too much gin, very little bucket
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
