they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Less talking, more tequila
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
