I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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