I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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