so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
