No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
