My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
