What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
