he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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