Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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