sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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