I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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