I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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