i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
