Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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