Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
