just come out here and I will go home with you...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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