What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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