I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
