whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
