he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
