An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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