How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
