i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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