My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
