if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
