Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
