On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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