ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
