OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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