when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
