Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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