Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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