I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
