She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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